Category Archives: Careers

Careers, Uncategorized

Get that payrise! You know you deserve it

We need to talk about money.  All too often INFJs shy away from wanting to talk (or even think) about anything as lowly as pay.  It all seems so grubby and so very far removed from the utopian world of our dreams.  But getting the right pay for what you do isn’t incompatible with undertaking meaningful work.   You can still do work that aligns with your values, whilst getting fair pay for it.  It’s not a betrayal of your values – being underpaid is a betrayal of yourself.

Employers can be quick to take advantage of an employee who is motivated more by a desire to help others, than by financial rewards.  Don’t let that happen to you!  Being appropriately aware of your value in the workplace doesn’t diminish your capacity to be empathetic, caring, visionary or creative.  On the contrary, it can help you be more effective.  Receiving the right remuneration for your work is empowering. It builds your confidence and so improves your effectiveness.

INFJs need to stop being embarrassed about being interested in their pay.  Get real!  Fair pay for a fair day’s work is, after all, an essential part of workplace justice – and a sense of justice is very close to an INFJ’s heart.  INFJs need to tap into that keen sense of justice to overcome their feelings of shame at being interested in the Se (Extraverted Sensing) world of money.  An INFJ with an uncomfortable relationship with their inferior function of Se can arbitrarily dismiss anything which they think smacks of greed or superficial rewards.  But it’s not greed to want to be paid appropriately.  It’s just simple human justice.  Don’t let your discomfort with Se sabotage you!

There’s probably nothing an INFJ would hate more than to have to bring up a discussion about pay with their boss, but you need to get over your fear about this and initiate a conversation.  Do your homework first – find out the going rate for similar jobs, and then be prepared to show evidence of work well done (eg targets met, projects delivered etc).  

Next, keep your feelings firmly out of the discussion.  This is a tough one for INFJs, particularly if they’ve been motivated by a sense of injustice.  But taking things personally always backfires.  To help you get the necessary emotional distance from the discussion, imagine you are speaking on behalf of a colleague.  Use your Ni-Fe to imaginatively put yourself in their shoes.  You’ll be an excellent advocate for them, whilst not letting emotion get the best of you.

It’s obviously pretty common for a boss to either reject your first approach, or kick it in to the long grass.  Be prepared to keep returning to the conversation.  If you are persistent, the chances are that your boss will eventually come round, and either agree your raise or propose a compromise.  It’s a war of attrition though.  You need ice-cold confidence to face down the awkwardness of the conversation.  Each time you say ‘I’d like to revisit our conversation about pay’,  it’ll feel cringingly painful, and your boss won’t do anything to make you feel more comfortable about it.  After all, it suits them if you give up.  But don’t let those uncomfortable feelings make you abandon your goal.  When the time is right, raise it again, repeating your arguments about the going rate for similar jobs elsewhere and evidence of your own good performance. You’re worth it!

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Blog, Careers

Like a boss – tips for INFJ managers

It’s a jungle out there.  And INFJs aren’t naturally at home with the cut and thrust of office politics.  It’s not that they aren’t ambitious, but they do struggle with the tough approach that’s sometimes called for.  They’d rather go about things by being kind and supportive, hoping to lead by example.  INFJ managers try to live out the behaviours they want to encourage in their team – principled but realistic, logical but warm, compassionate but effective.  Above all, they want people to feel supported and listened too, and their approach is always inclusive.

Trouble is, sometimes that just doesn’t cut it.  Sometimes being morally good, just isn’t enough.  Sometimes, being fair isn’t enough.  Being a model leader may be a great thing to aspire to – and it’s true that you can inspire people to do their best by modelling those good behaviours yourself.  But not everyone is open to being influenced in this way.  There are always going to be people who are determined to fight an underground insurrection no matter what you do to support them.  People who have their own agendas, people who resist being managed, or people who are outright taking the piss.  You have to draw a very firm line in the sand with these co-workers.  No more Mr Nice Guy!

Often this is hardest for an INFJ to deal with when the person involved has already built up a good working relationship with the INFJ.  Because then the INFJ feels like they are betraying a friend.  INFJs want to be liked and they want to create a harmonious atmosphere in the workplace.  But if you have a difficult team member, who’s trying to game the system – asking nicely just isn’t going to work.  They may use the fact that they’ve got a friendly working relationship with you to guilt trip you into letting them get away with it. Don’t fall for this.

For an INFJ, it doesn’t feel natural to speak anything less than warmly to another person – and we pride ourselves on being able to see the other person’s point of view.  But sometimes this can leave us open being taken advantage of.  The manipulative direct report can become a kind of horrific recurring nightmare for the unwary INFJ who is trying a bit too hard to be nice.

The solution is to this potentially dangerous situation is to channel your inner ESTP.  ESTPs share all the same functions as INFJ, but in reverse order (INFJ is Ni-Fe-Ti-Se, the ESTP is Se-Ti-Fe-Ni).   Inside every INFJ there’s a little wannabe ESTP itching to get out.   Now is the time to give it free rein!  Where INFJs struggle with keeping things impersonal, ESTPs have skin like elephant hide.  They feel under no obligation to make the other person feel comfortable or to ‘look after’ their emotions in the way an INFJ does.  They’re straight talking, sharp-shooters and they can tell it like it is.  So when they need to bring an employee into line, they’re just fine with telling them how things need to be from now on. 

INFJs also struggle with keeping things impersonal when there’s conflict in the workplace.  Again, ESTPs are better at handling this.  They don’t take things personally, they just stick to the facts.  And while an INFJ who’s trying to be more logical and impersonal is never going to be a full-on, gun-toting ESTP, just leaning in a little bit more to your Ti and Se is all it takes to handle a challenging situation at work better.

It can be confusing for people if an INFJ suddenly switches from being warm, friendly – even confiding – one moment, to reading the riot act the next.  The issue is that you should never have been so close in the first place.  Direct reports are not the people you should be looking to for friendship – they’re colleagues that you have responsibility for.  You’re not paid to be friends with them – you’re paid to manage them.  You can actually mentor them better if you’re not their best friend.  And when the chips are down and a direct report needs to be brought into line – you can do this more effectively if you haven’t got too close to them in the first place.

So unleash your inner ESTP – use your Ti/Se to keep things impersonal and stick to the facts.

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